Every year I come up with a list of New Years Resolutions and every year I fail miserably at keeping them. 2012 has been a strange ...

Every year I come up with a list of New Years Resolutions and every year I fail miserably at keeping them. 2012 has been a strange year for me. So much has so drastically changed, and with everything that has, I've learned more about myself.

I started 2012 in a long term relationship. We had been together for almost four years, and those years involved the times where I thought I really grew up. I was pretty certain in January 2012 that I had become an adult. I was so wrong. The relationship ended just after the new year began. I also started 2012 studying a photography degree. I was in my first year, and I really wasn't enjoying it. Whether it had anything to do with the relationship ending or whether I would have felt this way anyway I'm still unsure, but I left that course about 2 weeks later.

So during January 2012, I had lost a relationship that I had, over the years, let define me. I had left my degree. And to be honest, I was a bit of a mess. I didn't know what I wanted to do, and everything just seemed so negative. It took me a while to sort myself out, but I eventually landed on a job in summer that seemed, and ended up being, too good to be true (more of that later though). I was travelling around Britain with a studio doing what I loved - taking pictures.

Having that job was what finally sorted my head out, and I starting looking at things differently. Instead of looking at my relationship ending as a bad thing, I started to pick out the positives. I had a chance to focus on myself and make decisions for me, without having to think about anyone else. I looked at leaving my degree as a positive change. Instead of thinking that it meant I was missing out on an education or that I had lost an opportunity, I looked at the good points - I wasn't adding up debts doing something I wasn't enjoying and I could be earning money and gaining experience every day instead of sitting in a stuffy lecture learning irrelevant essay writing skills. This job made me so happy, and I was earning good money, meeting new people and living away from home, without having to worry about debts or bills. This job took me up to Christmas, and I can honestly say that although I had certain doubts, I was loving the experience of working away from home at the age of 19. I was staying in amazing apartments and work was actually pretty fun!

Eventually for certain reasons (through no fault of my own, I might add), I couldn't keep this job anymore. At the time, I couldn't have been more annoyed about the situation, but when I try and look at it positively, it really is the best thing. This week, as long as the weather doesn't hit too badly, I am assisting the amazingly talented Rosie Hardy on a shoot, and I'm positive that I will learn bundles of valuable information from her - that is if I don't fan girl out on her, of course. I have now got the time and the confidence to do things like this, and to feel like I am actually capable of doing things like this. Instead of looking at this time negatively (I don't have work, I'm not earning money etc) I can look at it positively (I've got the opportunity to gain amazing experience, I can work alongside a photographer that I love etc.) It's all about perspective.

My point is that YOU chose what defines you by changing your outlook on what happens in your life. I was constantly saying that I've had the worst luck through 2012, but really bad luck doesn't exist. Luck doesn't exist. You have to make the best out of every situation. You have to draw the positives out of everything you possibly can. Instead of looking at things negatively, look at the good things, the benefits, the pluses. Change your perspective.

Instead of making a pointless list of irrelevant new years resolutions this year that I know I'll have given up by January, and completely forgotten about by March, I've decided that it makes much more sense to make a change that just happens to be at the beginning of a new year; to find the positives in everything that happens to me, and to not focus on the negatives. It also just happens to have been at the beginning of the best year of my life. That's the plan so far, anyway.

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